Whine 411
Mood:  caffeinated
Now Playing: Sideways, at Lady's Island
Topic: Movie choices
This movie begins with the protagonist suffering from the wrath of grapes, and lurches mostly forward for a painful and protracted interlude. Miles Raymond (Paul Giamatti), who spends his days teaching middle school English, (and his nights drinking top quality wine) links up with his buddy Jack (Thomas Haden Church), who plays an actor in real life, to stage a pre-nuptial road trip in California's Santa Ynez Valley. That's wine country, son. Red gold. Sometimes Gold gold. This show is one more reason to feel sorry for Californians. I mean all that good stuff they have and nobody smiles unless they get paid to do so.

An oenophile loves wine... really loves wine. But our boy loves it ju-ust a little too much. Slow-starting and long on the set-up the story finally hits its stride during a well-acted and well-edited restaurant scene, in which oenophile meets oenophess and budding horticulturist Maya (Virginia Madsen). Meanwhile, Jack is sidetracked by Stephanie (Sandra Oh), a motorcyle-riding, helmet-swinging, very modern woman.

Jack turns the week into an extended panty raid, while Miles, the neediest character in western literature, awaits the fate of his great american novel, the two-volume set of which makes War and Peace look like a pamphlet. Miles and Maya are about the only cast members to keep their clothes on for much of the film's duration. If you are keeping score, Jack loses Stephanie, Cammie (Missy Doty), his wallet, his clothes and nearly his nose, but gains his Armenian intended. Miles loses the book contract, his, uh... geez, I guess that was his car... but as the lady or the tiger ending implies, may gain entry to the Mayan form of civilization. After all that: recommended. Guess we can stop moaning about the dearth of thinking movies for another week.